i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize