escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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