margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
