So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
