Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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