I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
