I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
