she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
