the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
