Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
