please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
