Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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