My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
True college students do jello shots in the library
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