Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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