Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
