Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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