She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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