new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
