The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
