I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That's when you crack a 10am beer
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
