mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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