My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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