smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
