The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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