there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
