The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
