Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How external is "for external use only"?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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