I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
