Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize