If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize