Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
