He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
