i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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