i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My balls are so social today.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
