my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
