I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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