I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
