u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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