clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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