That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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