i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
