it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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