I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
