Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
