wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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