See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize