party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
