Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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