i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
