she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
