Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize