We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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