That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
