Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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