By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
