He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
