ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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