We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so let's talk penis.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
