I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
