ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
