i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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