I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
