I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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