are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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